Fr. Julian Stead in sacristy chapel

For much of the 1990’s, Dom Julian Stead edited the monastery’s Newsletter. In this article written nearly thirty years ago, in 1996, he offers a Lenten reflection. His own mild and mellifluous voice, commenting on Benedict and his Rule, is replaced in the second half of the article by the voice of the “golden-mouthed” John Chrysostom. Fr. Julian weaves the two together, both compelled to speak of the power of tears, those accompanying true prayer, expressing sincere contrition, and yielding authentic joy.

Dear Oblates and Friends of Portsmouth, 

In the month of March, we have the feast of the Annunciation, celebrating the first moment of the Incarnation of the Divine Word; also the feast of St. Joseph, his foster father, and the feasts of St. Benedict and of Gregory the Great. In the universal calendar, St. Gregory is now kept on Sept. 3, but for practical reasons we requested, and were granted, permission to keep his feast, as our monastery’s patron saint, on March 12, the earlier custom [our current practice has reverted to September 3].

But the whole month of March this year falls within the season of Lent, holy days, says St. Benedict, a forty day bath for the soul, when the brethren wash away negligences of other times and are careful to keep their lives pure. We "give ourselves up to prayer with tears, to reading, to compunction of heart and to abstinence in food and drink." We increase our private prayers and "withhold something from food, drink, sleep, talking, and jesting," in case there has been too much of anything like that. It's not Benedictine to think of it as a gloomy time. To paraphrase the Rule: what is offered to God would better not be offered at all, if it would only be offered grouchily; everyone offers what he can "of his own will" (= gladly) with twofold joy, the "joy of the Holy Spirit" here and now, and the joy of hopeful anticipation, or "spiritual desire, looking forward to holy Easter." The violet or purple vestments are the regal color, in which our Saviour was clothed mockingly by the soldiers. But the truth is, the Passion of Christ was not their triumph, but his. He beat down the gates of Hades and rescued Adam and Eve and all their progeny from our graves. And the angels sang.

They say that the Pange lingua and Vexilla regis, sung by the church in Passiontide, are two tunes sung by the Roman legions, paraphrases perhaps, not certainly songs of defeat.
A young Julian Stead, O.S.B.The tenth of St. John Chrysostom’s homilies on St. Matthew’s Gospel was apparently preached shortly before the beginning of Lent. “The time for penance is drawing near. We have so much need for repentance and tears.” In another homily, speaking about the repentance of Mary Magdalen, he says: “The fire of the Holy Spirit enters the soul and crushes indifference and laziness. It makes the soul lighter than a feather, and gives it the power to despise earthly things. A man becomes so changed that he abides in perpetual repentance and contrition. He weeps without ceasing and finds in those tears great relief and joy. Let us then abandon a soft life, pleasures with which tears and penance cannot coexist. I’m certain that nothing joins and unites us to God more solidly than these tears. A man who lives in that condition, even if he lives in the city, is as if he dwell in a desert, mountain, or forest hermitage. He cannot have enough of groaning and weeping for his own sins and the sins of others. For this reason, Jesus proclaimed, ‘Blessed are those who weep!’

“But you will ask me, what did Saint Paul mean, then, when he said, ‘Rejoice at all times in the Lord’? (Philippians 4:4) He meant to express the joy these tears arouse. Earthly joy has sadness for its companion; tears shed out of love for God produce unfading, undying happiness. The sinful woman the Gospel speaks about became purer than the very virgins, in as much as she had been seized totally by this divine fire. Lit with the fervor of penitence, she blazed with the love of Christ. She bathed the feet of Jesus with her tears, using her hair to dry them, and poured ointment over them. That is what was going on externally, but in her soul, her feelings burned more ardently than the external manifestation; they could only be seen by God. Everyone who hears her story rejoices with her, and considers her purified from all her sins.
Julian Stead at Oxford“As the air becomes clear after violent rains, so after this shedding of tears, the spirit becomes calm and tranquil, sin’s clouds are completely dispersed. As we are purified in baptism, by water and the Spirit, so we are in penance by our tears and confession.

“Look for the tears that are shed in secret, that flow in silence or profound quiet, born of sorrow, and shed for God alone. Such as these were the tears of Anna, of whom scripture says, ‘she moved her lips without a voice being heard.’ But her tears uttered a sound more piercing than a trumpet – on this account, God cured her sterility and turned a hard rock into fertile ground.“

Chrysostom quotes his congregation asking, “What do we gain by weeping rather than laughing?” “More than it is possible to explain in words. It doesn’t do the guilty man much good to weep in front of human justice: he won’t get out of punishment. But in the Church, a mere sigh will get your sentence revoked and obtain your pardon.

“The judgment is at the doors. Even were it farther away, one ought not to live securely, since our particular end takes the place for us of the general end of the world… We hear these words and see all the signs, and still we sleep, still we dream. The realities of earthly life are nothing better than dreams. Begin then I pray you to wake up, and look at the Sun of Justice. The person asleep cannot see the sun, he cannot rejoice his eyes in the beauty of its light. If he sees anything, it is only a dream.

“You beg me to explain what good we should do. ‘Seek peace,’ says the Prophet, ‘and pursue it.’ I don’t mean just peace between men, but also peace with God. Pursue peace because it has been banished from the world and returned to heaven. But we can bring it back down again, if we resolve to give up anger, vanity, pride, and all the passions which are so many obstacles to the realization of peace; live then in moderation and purity.

“You ought not to leave the Church and throw yourselves immediately into activities which contradict everything you have been hearing. Nothing is more important when you leave these gatherings and meditation of the teachings you have received here. It is extreme ingratitude to dedicate five or six days to earthly business and not give one day, not even a small part of the day, to spiritual things.“

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Fr. Julian Stead entered the monastic community at Portsmouth in September, 1943. He studied at St. Anselmo in Rome attaining his S.T.L. there. He also studied at Blackfriars in Oxford and was ordained a priest while at Oxford. In the monastery Dom Julian held many jobs, teaching philosophy and patristics to the young monks, serving as Guest Master and Novice Master. In the School he taught Christian Doctrine and Latin, and was in charge of the Photography and Riflery Clubs. He also taught a course in Patristics at Providence College from 1974 to 1976. He was a poet, a painter, and published several books as well as additional articles.