Abbot Michael Brunner offers us this week a reflection on our theme of the “Love of Learning.” Prompted by a listing of “Things You Should Know” for those attaining the age of 21, he offers some suggestions of his own.

Old sign for “Portsmouth Priory School” entrance

I do love learning, and have from a young age. I enjoyed school as an adult, whether studying Arabic or Theology. I consumed books and serious magazines. But lately I have been doing a lot of learning from the internet, although most of what I’m learning is not that useful. Alas algorithms know what to throw at me to capture my attention.

Bookshelves in monastic library

I saw a list on the internet … “Things You Should Know by Age 21.” The list assumes you’re a male, but a lot applies to women too. I’m sure women can make the appropriate female connections when it doesn’t directly apply. To me this list says a lot about how life has really changed from when I was 21 and under. So here goes:

1. How to tie a tie.
2. Wear the right amount of cologne.
3. How to build a fire. At the very least, know how to light a grill.
4. Know how to take care of a hangover.
5. Ask a woman on a date. A real date. The date doesn't need to break the bank, either. e.g. walk around a park together and point out the ridiculous things that other people are wearing, or go to Goodwill and try to find the most hideous item there.
6. Enjoy the company of old people.
7. The more time you spend talking about yourself and how great you are, the less great you seem.
8. Ironing in general. It's hard to look super-capable if you're also very wrinkly. Also make sure you're always moving the iron - otherwise, burns happen.
9. Open your car manual - and actually read it. Know what's in your manual.
10. Be a thoughtful gifter.

All good, practical advice. I am surprised, though, that a man could possibly get to age 21 and NOT know how to tie a tie.

It is surprising the things we are not taught. I was never taught how to iron; dressing for success is important, so ironing is too. And moving the iron is VERY important in that process. Mistakes are expensive.

I was never taught about money and finances. I’m not sure why my father thought that was instinctive. He did at least give me “the talk” about sex, which was partially instinctive, and he attempted follow up sessions. He was glad that my parish school had an evening of sex education so he didn’t have to talk about it anymore.

There are other things we need to know as we start out in life, things about God and what relates to Him... grown up things about God, not the simplistic metaphors we are taught as children.

View of church from Science Building

Things like this. Love is the best thing about life, and love is the best thing about God.

God does not write down all the bad things you do so He can read you back the list when you come to judgment to see if you pass. The truth is all the bad things you do, and all the good things too, get written into yourself. Each of our actions is like a brick placed in the building of our own person which is being constructed day by day throughout our life. Not one of those bricks is hidden. When the building is done, well, it’s either built according to code or not. All of our actions have consequences in who and what we are.

Some of us do get issued more and better quality bricks than others. But as Jesus tells us…Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more (Luke 12:48). We have to work with the material we have at hand, not with material we wish we had.

There is heaven and there is hell, and they both start here. The selfless and loving are working on heaven. The selfish and angry are working on hell.

Monastery library, view from garden

And furthermore, whatever else sin does, it makes us unhappy HERE. No need to wait for hell.

Another thing we need to know is that God is not like us in many ways. He can forgive and forget. And that it is never too late to repent and set ourselves straight, just the same as it is never too late to turn our backs on God. As the saying goes, it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.

Life is not really complicated. We make it so. The price for simplicity, purity of heart, is paid for in the goods of this world. The reward is not only in seeing God; it is in appreciating God, in experiencing God and all good things and persons in Him. I guess we don’t have to realize that when we’re 21, although it makes for a better life. But we sure do need to realize it when the angel calls our name to come home.

But as one of my early bosses used to say “A day without learning is like a day without sunshine” …because it ain’t over ‘til it’s over.
 

Among his many duties, Abbot Michael Brunner teaches theology in the upper school at Portsmouth Abbey School.