Obedience in the family

Obedience is not convenient. It’s not convenient for us, and it wasn’t convenient for Jesus either. It might surprise you that the same Greek verb hypotasso, used for obedience (meaning to be under someone’s authority), is used in Colossians where Saint Paul was instructing wives to be subordinate to their husbands, is the same verb used for Jesus being obedient to his parents, Mary and Joseph, in the Gospel.

Now, I know I might be stirring the pot a bit here, maybe more for some you than others, but I want to remind you that whenever scripture challenges us with something inconvenient, there is always a deeper meaning to uncover.

Obedience, in its truest sense, is not about blind submission but a gift freely given and humbly received, that leads to great glory in heaven. Neither is obedience a weapon to be wielded nor a burden to be imposed. It is not a license to control or manipulate. Saint Benedict, in his rule says, “the first step of humility is unhesitating obedience.” He describes, among other things, about monks obeying the superior as if the command came directly from God. And this makes sense to him because Jesus himself said, “Whoever listens to you listens to me.” Saint Benedict goes on to say that this obedience should be given gladly because, “God loves a cheerful giver.” If a monk obeys grudgingly, grumbling even in his heart, then even though he carries out the order, his action will not be accepted with favor.
Now, for those in authority must receive obedience with a servant’s heart, emulating Christ who laid down his life for his bride, the Church, Joseph and Mary were icons of this mystery. They exemplify this dynamic of loving obedience. The gift of obedience was mutually exchanged in the Holy Family. This is the beautiful mystery embodied in the Holy Family.

From the Gospel narrative, we can see that it was not convenient for Jesus when he found out that he was not being understood for what he did. From his parents’ point of view, he went missing for three days. From Jesus’ point of view, he was just hanging out with his Heavenly Father. Jesus’ response to this misunderstanding reveals a profound truth because he always obeyed his Father’s will. This meant honoring the earthly authority of Mary and Joseph, recognizing the pattern of relationship established by God.
Mutual subordination, and their loving obedience to one another, is what made the Holy Family “holy.”

This is opposite to our world, which worships the gods of convenience. If power, money, lust, and fame are the idols of this generation, then convenience is the altar where we sacrifice to them. The world is infected by this disease, and we also cooperate with it. Just think about how easily we fall into little convenience traps even during Christmas. It’s convenient to skip caroling, to send a quick text instead of handwritten cards, to buy a generic gift instead of making something special. It’s definitely convenient to avoid the hassle of travel to get together with your family. These are just little things that go with the season, but out there are scarier, more horrific examples of convenience gone wrong. I’m sure you can come up with your own long list of things from the world, and maybe some in your life, where convenience has gone wrong.

But let us move our gaze to the Holy Family again, a family where each individual obeyed the Heavenly Father’s will. It was not convenient for Joseph to take pregnant Mary into his house and make her his wife. It was not easy to obey the authority and travel to Bethlehem with his fully pregnant wife to give birth. It was not easy going from house to house to find a place for his wife to give birth. It was not easy for Mary to say “yes” to the will of the Father even when she did not know any man. It was not easy to take her nursing child and escape to Egypt with Joseph. It was not easy for Mary to be obedient to the entirety of the Father’s will, first to let her son go, and then to stand alone at the foot of the cross. It was not convenient for Jesus to say “yes” to the Father’s will in the agony of the garden. Jesus’ ultimate act of obedience was his passion and death on the cross. The cross is unavoidable for us and was for Jesus in obedience; the pain is real for us and for Jesus. But through His loving obedience to the Father, He redeemed the world and we can cooperate with Him.

So, why delay anymore? As we adore the newborn Christ child, let’s come to Him with open hearts, ready to obey his Father’s will, a will that will unfold for us in this Eucharist.